"Can you tell me why soldiers don't get laid anymore?"
or-
"Uncut? Really?"
or-
"If you come to the school I work at and tell my director you are my long lost uncle I could probably get the time off for a 'reunion' and get to see game 4 of the playoffs."
or-
"no, don't look at me like that. I do really identify with the lyrics of 50 Cent."
"Sure jumping off stuff is cool when you're 10 but think about this, Is this really going to help you deal with the life long pain and the struggle of being a Mets fan? Is it a good way to meet girls? Well you may not think so right now but you have to start preparing for the future. It's gonna be a helluva time coming up and unless you start thinking about it now you'll get left behind. I agree, jumping about is amusing but you should also get yourself over to Shea every now and then otherwise you'll get sucked in by the evil empire and you will end up as much less of a human being, your soul will be tarnished by endless, unthinking success and girls will not like you, unless of course you decide to be gay which is absolutely fine but then you maybe wouldon't like baseball that much anyway. Assuming you end up straight and a Mets fan then you'll be a rounder person with a more abstract take on the inevitable struggles that lie ahead and boy oh boy are there some struggles ahead. But i guess for now I should just let you get on and jump off stuff".
3 comments:
"Can you tell me why soldiers don't get laid anymore?"
or-
"Uncut? Really?"
or-
"If you come to the school I work at and tell my director you are my long lost uncle I could probably get the time off for a 'reunion' and get to see game 4 of the playoffs."
or-
"no, don't look at me like that. I do really identify with the lyrics of 50 Cent."
"Sure jumping off stuff is cool when you're 10 but think about this, Is this really going to help you deal with the life long pain and the struggle of being a Mets fan? Is it a good way to meet girls? Well you may not think so right now but you have to start preparing for the future. It's gonna be a helluva time coming up and unless you start thinking about it now you'll get left behind. I agree, jumping about is amusing but you should also get yourself over to Shea every now and then otherwise you'll get sucked in by the evil empire and you will end up as much less of a human being, your soul will be tarnished by endless, unthinking success and girls will not like you, unless of course you decide to be gay which is absolutely fine but then you maybe wouldon't like baseball that much anyway. Assuming you end up straight and a Mets fan then you'll be a rounder person with a more abstract take on the inevitable struggles that lie ahead and boy oh boy are there some struggles ahead. But i guess for now I should just let you get on and jump off stuff".
wow, i can't believe how accurately you remembered every last word i said to that kid.
quite impressive.
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