Friday, September 26, 2008

HARVEST rhymes with ...

So, it's the harvest festival in the parish church, all are gathered, the children, the parents, the elderly, some rioting toddlers.
Class 3 do a thing with the letters H.A.R.V.E.S.T
I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have but it seemed to be something about different words you can make out of H.A.R.V.E.S.T such as S.H.A.R.E. and R.E.S.T. and H.A.V.E and they relayed a meaningful homily after each new word. Was it me or as they changed the order of the letters during their thought provoking activity did I notice the word A.R.S.E

You couldn't make this stuff up.

Conflict resolution

Paddy's a kid in my class.
We disagree about chocolate bars.
He loves Mars bars.
I love Snickers.
He wants to settle this.
Once and for all.
I've offered him a debate, a vote, some fisticuffs.
I've even told him that my people could talk to his people, that he and I could remain civil.
He told me "You haven't got any people".
I told him "Yes I have".
He said "No you haven't"

This went on for a while.

I told him that I would vow to destroy him and everything he stood for.
He told me he didn't really understand the last bit but was ready to take me on, he told me that he had 'forces'.

I asked him what he meant by 'forces'.

He told me that if he explained what he meant by 'forces' he might as well just tell me to my face exactly what he planned to do to me and where and when so what's the point of trying to maintain any kind of element of surprise? After all, the element of surprise is key.

I asked if he could just possibly give me a timeframe, is this going to happen next week? Or do I have to wait years for the hiding at the hands of his 'forces'?

He said I should be careful on Tuesday.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Governor

I'm a school Governor.
This is an important job.
It's the type of important job that you have to do for a while before you realize how important it is.
It's also the type of important job which makes you yearn for a benevolent dictatorship.
With you as the dictator.

This evening I spent three and a half hours in a Governors meeting mostly listening to other Governors talking about very dull but important stuff.

I did my small share of dull but important talking, made the odd bad joke (the Headteacher offered his father's jazz band as entertainment for a fundraiser for a nearby field, I said "oh no, not them, they're awful!" The joke being that I've never even heard his father's jazz band! We all laughed because it was bloody HILARIOUS!)

My god.

There was one 37 minute section of the meeting where everybody seemed to forget everything.

The Vice Chair of Governors kept waiting until we had all almost finished with an agenda item, he would wait until we were all waiting for the chair to say "right, onto item 67, use of knives and forks in school on a Tuesday during Lent"

At that point he would ask a very important question about item 66.

I'm sure you can imagine our frustration.

Friday, September 19, 2008

My Day

in rough running order.

Crack of dawn phonecall with my boss, he's out today, as are several other key staff.

Ranty shouting moment with very non key member of staff as she discovers others are not in today. I am offended but say very little, some people need to shout, very early in the day, at me.

Lovable supply teacher needs me to fix something right now, right this minute please.

Tommy's mum can't do his homework.

Normally sane staff member is distinctly 'off'.

Very enthusiastic parent is very enthusiastic just when I needed a moment of calm.

Lunchtime, double helpings of fish related stuff and chips!

Swimming pool with windows open which allows noxious fumes to dipserse without actually killing anyone.

Parents assembly passes off quickly and without a hitch.

Phonecall with weeping staff member, will she , wont she make it in on Monday?

Henry and I stroll over the lane to watch what I hope will turn out to be a hot air balloon crash.

Disappointed, we stroll home as balloon makes yet another gradual ascent over the rooftops.

Back home I encounter aggressive door to door begging (what is this? Tudor London?)

Following begging moment , call the cops 'non emergency' line, apparently this beggar has been all over town. This prompts the question, Slow moving beggar with minimal charm verses high tech modern police service. Surely?

Moment of zen, mowing the lawn as the sun goes down, then sipping a cold one.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Senior Teacher

Hey, in the last post I wanted to mention my promotion. I forgot. I guess I was to busy being busy.
I'm now the senior teacher (asst principal) in my small village primary school.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Catch up

There's alot to blog about,
Alot has been going on.
There's not been enough hours in the day.
I'd like to apply for an extra couple or three hours in the day, but then again, maybe not.

I'm back on the road after almost a year (knee problems being the main reason). I've taken up a programme from runners world magazine and am loving every minute of getting back into my favourite outdoor pastime. Frau random Doubt had also reconnected with the running bug (We run on alternate nights, whoever is 'resting' gets to make tea and do the dishes. Nice plan eh?) I've gone for the softly, softly, catchy monkey philosophy. It seems to be working.

Left leg
So with the running I've been getting tiredness and a bit of, well, 'eugh?' in my left leg. No rational explanation. I've slept on my side since I was able to sleep through the night. Of course, All my weight, 8 hours a night is on my left side. Frau random Doubt is also running and has complained of a similar complaint on her right side. After almost 6 years of marriage we're going to swop sides of the bed. Hey! Could be crazy! Could be saucy!

A good read
I'm loving my current read. I've moved away from presidents and twentieth century history and have delved into The Enlightenment. More of this in the next 'Book Learning'.

I'm really enjoying a great beer. Bath ales. Lovely

Sunday, September 07, 2008


Look at this!

OK, for those of you unfamiliar or a bit rusty on your East Anglian rivalries allow me to recap.

I am of Norfolk.
Norfolk good.
Norfolk above Suffolk.
In every way better.

Some years ago a number of political organisations were formed to promote Norfolk as a cultural and political entity free of the yoke of English imperialism. The leading light in this quest for independence was the NLA. The Norfolk Liberation army. I have never blogged this before because it's very existence is open to interpretation and doubt.

They say it is an autocratic cell based organisation dedicated to all things Norfolk. At least it was until Mad Nathan moved to London and Gary's van got stolen.

Anyway, one of the main goals of this group was (and is) the southward expansion of Norfolk's border with it's oldest foe, Suffolk.

And now, it seems that Suffolk is inviting us in to take over one of it's poorest boroughs.

The southerners have decided that they are unable to care for their own, and need economic, political and cultural support.

It seems to be a shame that our democratically elected representatives here in Norfolk seem so short sighted and are less than keen about making this historic step, the first step on a path to conquest and glory.

Next stop Southwold and Walberswick.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

To borrow, to borrow

"There are so many things I want to do, such a better person I want to be. But I really just need to go to bed".

Seriously lame blogging to borrow wholesale from another but I feel just the same way. First week back at work is always an absolute killer.
Thanks to Unwellness for the quote.