Friday, September 26, 2008

Conflict resolution

Paddy's a kid in my class.
We disagree about chocolate bars.
He loves Mars bars.
I love Snickers.
He wants to settle this.
Once and for all.
I've offered him a debate, a vote, some fisticuffs.
I've even told him that my people could talk to his people, that he and I could remain civil.
He told me "You haven't got any people".
I told him "Yes I have".
He said "No you haven't"

This went on for a while.

I told him that I would vow to destroy him and everything he stood for.
He told me he didn't really understand the last bit but was ready to take me on, he told me that he had 'forces'.

I asked him what he meant by 'forces'.

He told me that if he explained what he meant by 'forces' he might as well just tell me to my face exactly what he planned to do to me and where and when so what's the point of trying to maintain any kind of element of surprise? After all, the element of surprise is key.

I asked if he could just possibly give me a timeframe, is this going to happen next week? Or do I have to wait years for the hiding at the hands of his 'forces'?

He said I should be careful on Tuesday.

3 comments:

Listmaker said...

what happened?

Mondale said...

I was scheduled to be at a conference on tuesday morning. Normally I'd tell the class if I'm due to be out, you know,
"Hey groovy cats, I'm going to be out tomorrow morning at a course about hip stuff. Please try and be cool for the supply teacher, be cool, please be cool".
On this occasion I thought it might be interesting to not tell them.
One kid asked the supply teacher if I had been 'smited'.
Then I appeared at lunchtime and it was all a big joke. God* we laughed.

* And by god I mean a little bit of acceptable blasphemy, now that neo nut job religious coworker has left we are free to express ourselves a bit more freely.

msdee said...

too funny!

Please tell me you don't really use words like "groovy cats" and "hip" :)