Mazeltof! Some actual pictures of the actual wedding!

And now, some real wedding pics....

The path to married bliss is lined by family, friends and New Yorkers discussing real estate.


Weasel is wearing a kilt. That's right. Hoots! He's wearing a kilt!


"Stop pacing, you'll sink this thing".


"She'll be here, it'll be fine".


The happy couple!! (that's the top of Country Mouse's mom in the foreground.

Oi Vey! Some pictures from Maine.

At last! After a week of not even bothering and then a few days of technical issues I present to you some pictures of our fantastic weekend in Bar Harbor. We were there to celebrate the Weasel/Country Mouse union, wedding photos to follow.

Three New Yorkers wander the country lanes of Maine gently discussing real estate prices.

It's all so beautiful, so fresh, so fragrant. We also keep reminding ourselves that it's all so completely frozen for 6 months of the year.

Weasel and General Weasel with an assortment of mini Weaselettes

Frau Random Doubt, Listmaker and Youthlarge wander the gorgeous coastal paths of Bar Harbor discussing real estate prices.

Weasel's cuzzen Jim and bruvver Baz discuss breakfast products, Jim the veggie vs Baz the pork afficianado.

Weasel and Country Mouse's big day/wedding/roadtrip extravaganza type thing.

Look at it this way.

It's the busiest travel weekend of the year so Frau Random Doubt, Listmaker, Youthlarge and myself are all piling into the volvo and pointing the thing northeast. Hopefully in about 12 hours from the time we leave we will be in sunny Bar Harbor. I've been practising talking funny "I paaaarked the caaaar" and have compiled a collection of CDs to amuse and beguile. Listo and I will share the bulk of the driving, not only do we get to be buddies and co workers , now we get to be pilot and co-pilot!!
I get to eat junk food. We all get to sit in lots and lots of traffic.

Why are we doing this?

WEASEL AND COUNTRY MOUSE ARE GETTIN HITCHED!!!

Pictures to follow after the weekend!

Book learning #11

The Island of the Aunts by Eva Ibbotson.

I have spent the last few weeks reading this book to the children in my class. Therefore I have also read and enjoyed it. That's why I'm going to tell you all about it.

I've been teaching older elementary kids for close to 10 years now and I pride myself of selecting interesting books for class read alouds. I do not read Harry Potter and I very rarely read Roald Dahl. This is not because I disaprove of such books, no, It's because the kids will have read all these books themselves at home, over and over again. I like to try to broaden their horizons a little each time I read to them. It's a core part of my job.

Having said that I do have a staple list of great kid's books that I love to read. 'Nicobobinus' by Terry Jones, 'Emil and the Detectives' by Erich Kastner, 'Danny, Champion of the World' by Roald Dahl, I could go on.

The thing is this, It can become a bit like going to see your favourite band and hoping that they will play all your bestest tunes from that album they did in 1996. Next time you go and see your favourite band performing all their mid nineties hits take a good long look at the lead singer's face. Is he really enjoying it as much as you are?

See what i mean?

You have to mix it up a bit.

That's why I went to Unwellness in the school library earlier this year and asked her "I want something like David Sedaris for third graders"

She came up with this, I'm ashamed to admit that I had never heard of the author but I took a quick glance and figured, why not? We'll let the kids be the judges and if it stinks they will soon tell me and we can read someting else.

They didn't think it stank, in fact they soon became quietly absorbed in it's story and it's morality play. Grown up are often stupid, greedy, ugly and ill natured. Most children are reliable, in posession of a sense of fun and ingenuity and end up becoming the plucky heroes of the tale. It's fairly formulaic in that sense, the story touches upon several modern day issues, global capitalism against organic individualism, The modern media complex against a bunch of lunatic eccentrics stuck on an island off the coast of England.
The kids didn't pick up on all the nuances but they enjoyed the gist of it- rotten grown ups defeated by ingenious kids, eccentric aunts and a host of fantastic sea creatures.

Best of all?

I got to do my Geordie accent for most of the characters

Dyson.

We just bought a Dyson.

Breakfast of Champion's League

The thing I like about English clubs in Europe is this.

(As you know, I'm a Norwich fan so this is not directly relevant to my everyday experience, it's a bit like seeing people you know on the TV, never really happens and when it does you phone all your friends and yell at them "Fucking hell!! Hester's on Blue Peter talking about art!!!! That was 12 years ago).

I'm happy for them when they win- for a day or two.
When they lose I'm upset- for about thirty seconds.

I was even a Manchester United fan for 90 minutes in 1999, that was mostly due to the fact that their opponents that day were Bayern Munich and the game was an absolute cracker!

And I've always had a deep soft spot for Barcelona. Arsenal are wankers, despite being a truly great side.

I was delighted for Liverpool last year when they won the Champion's League, Scousers deserved it.

I love this time of year, May is a great month, Cup Finals, European finals, World Cup around the corner, everyone's happy.

Lovely.

Children's party.

Yeah! I'm going to be involved in hosting a children's party at my school tonight!!
Yeah!!!
I can't wait.

Football at Carrow Road

Yeah! I got an invite, Sadly I will have to turn it down.

Football at Carrow Road with Foolproof


Determined to restore footballing standards at Carrow Road back to the highest quality*, Foolproof has hired the stadium for a match on Wednesday 17th May.

This invitational match will pit two scratch teams against each other for a 90 minute, 11-a-side game on the hallowed turf. And you – you lucky thing – have been invited to play.

Here are the details:

• 4.15 - 4.30pm: Arrive. Come into the ground via the Directors Entrance, (on Carrow Road). You can park in the Club car park if you need to.

• 4.30 - 4.45pm: Study the team list. Get changed in the dressing rooms. Hear the stunning tactical plan that has been devised by your Manager

• 4.45 - 5.00pm: Warm up on the pitch

• 5.00pm sharp: Kick off. The match will be refereed by Neil Adams. Everyone on each team will get at least 25 minutes play.

• 7pm: Penalty competition. Yes, you will have the opportunity to score a competitive goal at Carrow Road. And run around waving your arms. At an empty stand. With your shirt over your head.

• 7.45pm: Awards ceremony in the Boardroom

• 8.00 to 11pm: Pies and Beer in the Boardroom watching the Champions League Final and commenting how you track back much better than that Ronaldhino fellow.


Please let us know if you would like to be on the team sheet for the match by end of play Monday 8th May. Naturally there are a lot of people we know who will be interested in playing, so if we don’t hear from you we’ll offer your place to someone else.

But please do join us. The match will be played a competitive but friendly and strictly non-violent spirit and we’d love to have your company. If you have hung your boots up, but would still like to join us for post-match beer and Champions League action let us know (although you’ll kick yourself when you see the sad array of crocks and porkers who turned out for the match).

Position: When you reply, please let us know which position you prefer to play in. We’ll try and accommodate your preference for at least part of the match.

Kit: you will need football boots with studs to play. We’ll provide shirts but you will also need to bring socks, shin pads and shorts.


Come and fulfil your childhood dream with us on Wednesday 17th May.

RSVP by Monday 8th May to Kirsty Jarvis
(Kirsty.jarvis@foolproof.co.uk or on 01603 766800)




* The management of Foolproof would like to point out that footballing skill and experience is in no way a prerequisite for taking part. In fact, the worse you are at football the better we will like it.

An English History for my American cousins.

After an alarming conversation about Henry II and Thomas A'Beckett the other day I have decided to provide an outline of English History.
I am using the chapter titles from the rather marvellous 1964 edition of a Concise History of England by F.E.Halliday 'From Stonehenge to the Atomic age'. The title's are Halliday's the rest is my own. I promise no research, merely a mumbling recital of schoolboy facts.

I. Early Invaders
II. Three centuries of peace 43-410
III. The rise and fall of Wessex 410-1066
IV. From despotism to anarchy 1066-1154
V. The making of the nation 1154-1307
VI. Foriegn war and civil war 1307-1485
VII. Renaissance, Reformation and a new world 1485-1603
VIII. King, Parliament and Civil War 1603-1649
IX. Cromwell and a united Commonwealth 1649-1660
X. From Restoration to revolution 1660-1688
XI. Toleration and the struggle with France 1688-1714
XII. Cabinet Government and the first British Empire 1714-1760
XIII. Loss of the American Colonies
XIV. The industrial revolution and Napoleonic War 1783-1830
XV. Reform, free trade and prosperity 1832-1865
XVI. Gladstone and Disraeli 1865-1886
XVII. The Conservatives and Imperialism 1886-1905
XVIII. Liberal reform and the first world war 1906-1918
IXX. Between two wars 1918-1939
XX. The second world war and after 1939-1964

At this point my trusty 1964 edition ends. I shall add another chapter to bring the 21st century reader up to date. Look forward to a final chapter including Margaret Thatcher, Lady Diana and Wayne Rooney.
I will not batter you with everything at once, I shall begin with the first 'chapterette'

I. Early Invaders
In the beginning the Islands of Britain were inhabited by tribes of early farmers and their communities. They had a system of law and order and apart from tribal rivalries and petty violence the land was in order. Then the Romans came under the rule of Caesar Claudius. The Romans suppressed what native resistance occurred and began to naturalise their new lands. By the time they eventually left about 400 years later it would have been difficult to distinguish many of the Romans as foreign . The Romans left much behind, much of which can still be seen today in places such as Bath, Northumberland and East Anglia. The Romans founded cities such as Colchester (don't bother visiting) , Chester (OK but full of wealthy Scousers), and Bath (Gorgeous Darling!) and greatly enhanced the city of London, making it Britain's primary city.

Next week.... part II, Three centuries of peace.

Political Junkie notes.

Click on the title for the link.
The knives are being sharpened, the undertaker is measuring up a coffin, another Prime Minister is being readied for the end.

I love the slow, twisting demise of British Prime Ministers, That's another reason why I don't approve of term limits. Watching a Prime Minister attempt to force off the inevitable is one of the joys of being British. This is the first one that I will have actually voted for, Thatcher and Major both being Tories. This one may take untill October. Watch this space.

I want pictures.

I was chatting to my brother today (he's the one without the beer) when he told me the most brilliant news.
No, his wife isn't pregnant, no, none of his children had done anything out of the ordinary.

His childhood friend and fellow Norfolkman Tom Wood (that's a picture of his office, I couldn't locate one of the man himself) has hired Carrow Road for a kickabout!



It's some type of corporate show off gig but what a laugh?

Tom has arranged for a number of clients and friends to 'bring their boots', use the dressing rooms and play a full 90 minutes on the hallowed turf! According to my brother everyone is guarenteed at least 25 minutes of playing time, they'll start with a line up and the National Anthem -I wonder if they can get a special guest to pretend to be the Duchess of Kent? (Americans note, we save the National Anthem for very special occaisons such as the Cup final, not everyday occurences such as the 7th inning stretch) and the referee will be none other than City's own 'voice of the county' Neil Adams.
I suggested that Tom, as he has paid for all of this should sit in the Director's box with a huge cigar, or speak Russian for the night.
Jealous doesn't even begin to cover it!
Anyway, like whatever, but i bloody well must have pictures so that you, my blog faithful can follow the proceedings.

A disturbing lack of knowledge.

Watch this space. At the request of some co-workers i shall shortly be putting together my essential points of British History. This is for Americans who want to know more but don't have the pedigree to back it up.

Book learning #10

Medieval Lives by Terry Jones.

Right out of the traps I suffered a not unfamiliar problem with this one. The subject was fascinating, well researched, well written even but I just couldn't help thinking that I would surely enjoy watching Mr Jones on TV more than I enjoyed reading his words. I'm not a lazy bastard, i love to read. Working out all those words. Hey, I can even do it in my head, It's just that sometimes I'd like to see a movie about Knights and Ladies and Kings and paupers.
Filled with anecdotes and trivia about this Lord, or that King, about how ordinary folk did in fact have a pretty healthy lifestyle untill they died of disease at 42 years old, Jones successfully challenged almost every perception about the period.
The best bits of the book were definately the chapter about the Church, how it completely corrupted virtually every aspect of medieval life and how armies and knights turned warfare into a business, perpetuating the murder and mayhem in order to make a few quid.
It also reminded me a bit of the children's book " The Measly Middle Ages" by Terry Deary, plagarism? I hope not!
Certainly worth a read, but what about a History Channel miniseries?

awe

I can't begin to understand the universe, and the deeds of men often cause despair.
But i can still get such simple delight from seeing the wind blow through the trees, and the waves at the beach give me such profound joy.
Today is one of those days.

I don't do memes but.....

....a dear friend tagged me so why not?

1. Never in my life: have I killed a man in cold blood.

3. High School was: an excercise in power sharing against a backdrop of agricultural machinery.

4. When I'm nervous: I get flaky skin.

5. My hair: is terribly blonde.

6. When I was 5: Zbigniew Brzezinski was advising President Carter.

7. Last Christmas: Me and the missus cooked everybody a gert lush dinner.

8. When I turn my head left, I see: Sunlight streaming through an open window.

9. I should be: working.

10. When I look down I see: President Carter (no, it's at a wierd angle)

12. If I were a character on Friends I'd be: The one who guns down the entire cast.

13. I have a hard time understanding: Serbo Croat.

14. Take my advice: be punctual and don't ask questions.

15. My ideal breakfast is: Bacon and eggs

16. If you visit the place I grew up: The chances are that you wouldn't understand a bloody word anybody said ever.

17. If you spend the night at my house: You will hear kids arguing in the street below.

18. I'd stop my wedding if: We ran out of booze.

19. The world could do without: fascism.

20. Most recent thing you've bought yourself: a wristwatch.

21. Most recent thing someone else bought for you: guitar lessons (thanks love)

Kind of dribbled off at the end. Sorry about that.

Book learning #9

Soldiers and Slaves by Roger Cohen.

Believe it or not, I haven't read many World War Two histories. About a year ago I read Max Hastings book 'Armageddon' which I thoroughly enjoyed. About two weeks ago I picked this up.

It tells the story of a few of the hundreds of GIs taken prisoner during the Battle of the Bulge in the winter of 1944-45. GIs who were denied the norms of POW treatment because they were Jewish, looked Jewish or had Jewish sounding surnames. There were also a few 'troublemakers' rounded up for good measure.
Such prisoners were sent to work in brutal conditions in mines inside Germany.
Cohen intertwines their story with the story of Hungarian Jews rounded up in the spring of 1944.

Cohen uses the different backgrounds of the prisoners (American and Hungarian) to highlight some bigger ideas, the idea of an old Europe clashing with a young, vibrant America, The soldiers of that America coming face to face with the unbelievable, the industrial destruction of European Jewry. At one point he relates the vision of America held by Hungarian Mordecai Hauer as a land of freedom and plenty, yet he is sharing a prison with the wasted, emaciated Americans sent to liberate Europe from it's own terror. At the end of the book Cohen brings up the irony of the emerging 'Weltpolitik' of the the Cold War, the fact that many former Nazis escaped justice because of their skills which would become useful in the dawn of the atomic age and that Soviets and Americans, in order to get on with the new conflict would rather paper over the awkward unpleasantness of the last.

Not an easy or pleasant read by any means but certainly a valid one. It's still deeply shocking to think that all this happened in my father's lifetime, in a Europe that I dare to think of as home.

"Gert Lush"

The English language is, believe it or not, a thing of beauty.
Ever evolving, twisting and changing, it varies from town to town, family to family, region to region, etc etc, yadayadayadaa.
There are words that float in and out of one's everyday usage, expressions ebb, like a friendly tide of parlance through the roundabout of fashion.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to (re)introduce to you the quite marvellous expression "Gert Lush".

Gert Lush originates from the west of England, The WestCountry. That cluster of counties 100 miles due west of London's western boundaries, nestled below Wales.
Gert Lush, roughly translated, means 'great big' . It can also mean 'blooming marvellous' , 'bloody wonderful', or just about anything 'fantastic' and 'great' and 'right now thankyou very much!'
I think it's time that 'Gert Lush' made it's way across the Atlantic and became common parlance in Brooklyn and beyond.
Thankyou for listening.

Time to tidy my desk.

I just found out why my desk draw won't close. It's been jammed with cds. I know that my 'filing' system will give the likes of Listmaker and Unwellness nervous breakdowns but it's the way i like it. Nonetheless it's time to ship them back home. They've done their job.
On the home front we have had the apartment redecorated and should be getting cable/internet/phone service back this Saturday. Should be back to blogging more than once a month.

Book learning #8.

Assassination Vacation: Sarah Vowell.

Two books by the same author in succession?

In this case it's because I was at a wee bit of a loss following the end of "The Partly Cloudy Patriot".
I tried to read a couple of other things but failed miserably (you can read about the failures when I publish my 'books that failed me and I hate them for it' list at the end of the year.)

There I was in the large corporate bookstore in Union Square (Oh how I wish 'BookCourt' or the 'Community Bookstore' would satisfy all my literary needs!) when I glanced upon it, picked it up and was hooked.

Or was I?

This was a slow burner but in it's way quite the perfect read. It took me a while to get through it although much of that was due to circumstances (visitors from out of town, redecorating the apartment, losing the book under the bed for three days, less subway travel of late etc etc.)

If I may compare it to her previous work I will, This is meatier. She deals with three assasinations and she deals with them in varying degrees of depth. Lincoln gets the bulk of the deal and the others, Garfield and McKinley also get fairly substantial treatment. The nice thing about Vowell is that she comes at the subject from just, sort of, over there, kinda. She brings in contemporia such as the recent Broadway show 'Assassins' (Is that still running? Anyone wanna go?) and the War in Iraq as well as filling your head with a cool overview of post Civil War domestic politics. Even as a History buff I had little idea about the different factions in the Republican Party of the late nineteenth century. One of the key aspects of the book and the succession of the three assassinations (which occurred within 40 years of each other) is how the Republican Party of Lincoln changed into what was to become the Republican Party of Nixon, Reagan and the Bushes.

And all this happens in a neat little book that you can pick up for under $20 and read, circumsatnces permitting, in less than a week.

Visitors from the east.

My Sister and her family are in town, here are some of the latest pictures...

Jetlagged, tired and blasted by the early spring sunshine, Niece Ella and Brother in law Matt traverse the East River via the Roebling's masterpiece of engineering.

Lunch at 'Mars 2112'. Ella was delighted by the alien themed restaurant, Her brother Alex was less impressed, he recruited his mum and non alien waiting staff to instruct the aliens to stay the heck away from him!

Atop the Rockefeller Center.

Young Alex has a thing about aircraft. Here he is delivering a lecture to another kid on board the USS Intrepid.