Yeah! I got an invite, Sadly I will have to turn it down.
Football at Carrow Road with Foolproof
Determined to restore footballing standards at Carrow Road back to the highest quality*, Foolproof has hired the stadium for a match on Wednesday 17th May.
This invitational match will pit two scratch teams against each other for a 90 minute, 11-a-side game on the hallowed turf. And you – you lucky thing – have been invited to play.
Here are the details:
• 4.15 - 4.30pm: Arrive. Come into the ground via the Directors Entrance, (on Carrow Road). You can park in the Club car park if you need to.
• 4.30 - 4.45pm: Study the team list. Get changed in the dressing rooms. Hear the stunning tactical plan that has been devised by your Manager
• 4.45 - 5.00pm: Warm up on the pitch
• 5.00pm sharp: Kick off. The match will be refereed by Neil Adams. Everyone on each team will get at least 25 minutes play.
• 7pm: Penalty competition. Yes, you will have the opportunity to score a competitive goal at Carrow Road. And run around waving your arms. At an empty stand. With your shirt over your head.
• 7.45pm: Awards ceremony in the Boardroom
• 8.00 to 11pm: Pies and Beer in the Boardroom watching the Champions League Final and commenting how you track back much better than that Ronaldhino fellow.
Please let us know if you would like to be on the team sheet for the match by end of play Monday 8th May. Naturally there are a lot of people we know who will be interested in playing, so if we don’t hear from you we’ll offer your place to someone else.
But please do join us. The match will be played a competitive but friendly and strictly non-violent spirit and we’d love to have your company. If you have hung your boots up, but would still like to join us for post-match beer and Champions League action let us know (although you’ll kick yourself when you see the sad array of crocks and porkers who turned out for the match).
Position: When you reply, please let us know which position you prefer to play in. We’ll try and accommodate your preference for at least part of the match.
Kit: you will need football boots with studs to play. We’ll provide shirts but you will also need to bring socks, shin pads and shorts.
Come and fulfil your childhood dream with us on Wednesday 17th May.
RSVP by Monday 8th May to Kirsty Jarvis
(Kirsty.email@example.com or on 01603 766800)
* The management of Foolproof would like to point out that footballing skill and experience is in no way a prerequisite for taking part. In fact, the worse you are at football the better we will like it.