Thursday, June 29, 2006

The worst field trip ever.

Somethings are so bad that they are actually funny.
Today was like that. I should point out that no children were injured and they actually seemed to enjoy it (in a completely bizarre fashion).

We took a bus to the location in the picture below, The little Red Lighthouse under The George Washington Bridge. I can tell you this, the photographer certainly managed to make the scene look a damn sight more attractive than the reality.
It's frickin miles away and the bus driver HAD NO CLUE ABOUT DIRECTION, ABOUT HOW TO DRIVE, ABOUT STREETS IN MANHATTAN BEING NUMBERED!!!!! I'm not sure but at one point I think I saw him crying.
We get to the place where we get off the bus. Fine. We have to walk through mugger's paradise (shady, leafy paths with a multitude of escape routes and places where your body could lie for weeks before being disturbed by a fevered crack head) and across a highway to get to the LRL.
When we get there our guide is nowhere to be seen, the LRL is locked and I notice the signs on the fence of the construction site warning us about POISON. Great.
The trip leader makes a bunch of calls, we eat our lunch on benches on the swampy, mosquito infested lawn. One of our group, an Albanian said that the place reminds her of Kosovo during the war "but without all the bullets and killing".
The kids were great, eating their lunch and geting muddy. I think most of them just figured that it was a trip to 'see' the LRL rather than go in it.
Then we decide to leave. We call our bus driver to meet us. He is completely fucking clueless! He has absolutely no idea about where we are, where he is and how to connect the two. The man has zero initiative, and if there's one thing Mondale cannot stand it's lack of initiative!
Plus, I hate yellow buses, ask anyone who knows me.

We had to cross three very dangerous roads (and I'm talking exit ramps from the West Side Highway, yeah!) in order to get to the bus because the driver was an utter fuckwit who wouldnt, couldnt, shouldnt come to us!
Thank you for listening.


Anonymous said...

os you never went in the lighthouse?
Ironic that you were lost and you were headed toward the lighthouse which is the beacon of light leading the lost yada yada yada

mactechwitch said...

This post gets very high laugh-out-loud ratings.
The mugger's paradise paragraph- excellent.
and I particularly resonated with bus driver stuff. He should cry for f*ck's sake.