Monday, March 20, 2006

Amendment XVIII (Beer)

Right, New Year resolutions come and go but this one (The beer resolution 1/1/2006)is in critical condition.
For those of you unfamiliar with the legislative process in the Mondale mind, it goes a little something like this. I decide upon a course of action, act upon it until it gets difficult, then pretty much drop it altogether.
The beer resolution 1/1/2006 has stumbled, it has fallen down.
The inital resolution was 'no beer until Memorial Day'. This was in order to lose 20 pounds.
Then I introduced some ammendments.
I. Beer is allowed if a family member is visting from out of town.
II.Beer is allowed if the imbiber has returned from work after 9pm.
III. Beer is allowed if watching sport.
IV. Beer is allowed if Kevin buys you one.
V. Beer is allowed if playing Bocce.
VI. Beer is allowed if watching '6 feet under'.
VII. Beer is allowed if a family member who lives within the five boroughs offers to buy me a beer.
VIII. Beer is allowed if buying a family member from out of town OR resident within the five boroughs a beer in return for the beer bought for me. (Be rude not to wouldont it?)
IX. Beer must be consumed when eating any of the following: burgers, wings, hotdogs.
X. Beer must be consumed when attempting to avoid getting too loaded too quickly.
XI. Beer must be consumed when fishing.

I think that's about it.

Needless to say I need to reel in the beer. Accordingly I shall limit the beer amendments to the following.

XII. All prior beer amendments are anulled.
XIII. Beer can be consumed inside the home when friends and/or family visit.
XIV. Beer can be consumed in a bar.

That's it, that's the future from this Friday morning.

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